An Instagram Post Forever Altered My Mindset

An Instagram post forever altered my mindset. Take a peek at the image this user posted.

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The user who posted that expanded upon the quote saying, "A person can only give you the amount of love, compassion, and understanding they give themselves. You can offer all of those things to them fully and openly - but if they haven't found the awareness of it in themselves they will be unwilling, unaware, and oppositional to whatever it is you have to offer. In these cases, you would do best to not take personally, this persons inability to meet you in your place of love. They do actually have the ability to meet you there, but they are unaware of that ability - which leaves them disempowered as a result of their own oblivion. The more a person grows to love and understand themselves, the more receptive they will be to others displaying that love around them. Until then, understanding that this lack of emotion they have toward you comes from a state of lack within themselves, will help you to view things from a more logical perspective."

To be honest, I'm not sure who Matt Kahn is, but this post stuck with me. I also don't know the user who posted it. I stumbled across it during a time in my life when I needed to read it the most.

I felt like I was giving people around me so much love, compassion, and understanding when they returned very little, I felt emotionally exhausted. I took two major takeaways from this.

1. I cannot make anyone change

I cannot force motivation into anybody. It's not my job to teach anybody how to make healthier decisions, to develop a more productive mentality, etc.  I can only encourage and support, but even encouragement and support has its limits. I couldn't allow myself to be there for people who were just going to exploit my kindness, and that brings me to the second epiphany I had... 

2. I was allowing people to treat me poorly.

I was frustrated, but when I realized that I could not make anybody change, I would have to accept people as they are, which meant I had to make a decision about my relationships. Is this a healthy relationship? How much time should I devote to this relationship? 

I've always believed that if you find yourself in an unhealthy relationship, you should address it with that person. If that person takes what you say to heart, awesome! If they blame you, guilt trip you, deflect, etc. you'll probably need to make some difficult decisions.

I allowed people for a long time to have too much say about my feelings, my actions, my thoughts, etc. but the day I owned my value as a person everything changed. I became confident in myself and I no longer allowed people to push me around. 

Granted, it happens here and there, but this lesson was a major shift in my life.

It's a better life for yourself when you know your self-worth, stick to your guns, and make productive decisions.

Lydia Weibel